A Few of My Personal Enneagram “Aha” Moments
Have I mentioned that I am a Type 9? I toyed with Type 2 and Type 6 along the way, however, when I read the Core Motivations for a Type 9, I thought “Has somebody been reading my mail, or more like my journals?” The awareness that can come along with discovering your Type is truly uncanny!
Before I honed in on my personality and how it’s driving everything I do, I would have considered myself fairly self-aware. However, by really exploring my inner landscape, I gained so much insight into my behavior, and I finally had language to describe what was going on inside of me.
One of the things I realized as I considered my story in light of my Enneagram Type is that I equated spiritual maturity with emotional stoicism. Spoiler Alert: These are not the same thing! This fed my numbing tendencies and the“slumber” that Type 9’s often find themselves in. By God’s grace, during a season of overwhelming circumstances that involved great loss and hurt, the Lord stamped an expiration date on that protective strategy. Numbness had to pack its bags so grief could move in.
Rediscovering my heart has been part of my personal work with the Enneagram. When I consider many of the Psalms, I see people pouring out their fragile hearts in vulnerable ways to a trustworthy God. They are not denying or repressing the joys and pain of life, but embracing them. In the Psalms, we see both celebration and lamentation. I believe this serves as a great model for both our emotional lives and our spiritual walks.
Good books have also helped me in this personal work with the Enneagram. The first is by Geri Scazzero, called The Emotionally Healthy Woman. This book encourages women to identify the things they need to quit if they are doing them out of a sense of oughtness to people please and appear spiritual. I found myself shouting out a resounding “YAAAAASSSSS” at several points in this book!
The other book that has been a great resource to me is Boundaries for your Soul: How to Turn Your Overwhelming Thoughts and Feelings into Your Greatest Allies, by Alison Cook PhD and Kimberly Miller, MTh and LMFT. These authors do a fantastic job explaining how to settle internal chaos and engage your emotions in a compassionate and gentle way so you control them rather than allowing them to control you.
As you find your Type and gain awareness of your protective strategies, be gentle with yourself as you start creating new pathways. I hope these resources serve you the way they have served me.
What are you currently learning on your own journey to wholehearted living?